How To Secede Without Really Trying

Conch Republic Flag

With all the recent Huffin’ N Puffin’ N Rapier Rattlin’ from some small sectors about States seceding from The Union (due to rampant fiscal insanity emanating from Washington D.C.) kudos to Key West and Mayor Dennis Wardlow. His preceding secession succeeded.

On April 23, 1982, the Florida keys seceded from the Union. Frustrated that a U.S. Border Patrol checkpoint was obstructing the main artery to the mainland, Key West mayor Dennis Wardlow opted for a lighthearted public relations campaign: He proclaimed his “Conch Republic” a separate nation, declared war on the United States, surrendered one minute later, and applied for $1 billion in foreign aid.

Since then the republic has maintained an uneasy peace with its giant neighbor. On Sept. 20, 1995, when an Army reserve battalion forgot to notify Key West of local training exercises, Wardlow mobilized for war. He sent letters to Bill Clinton, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and secretary of state Warren Christopher, and his militia engaged La Dichosa Bakery to bake Cuban bread with which to pelt the convoy (“our historic weapon of choice for dealing with Federalist Forces”) and Key West Lager “to provide the beer.”

By 10:50 p.m. they had received a fax from the battalion’s leaders stating that they had “in no way meant to challenge or impugn the sovereignty of the Conch Republic.” An official surrender ceremony was held two days later.

[Story burgled in its entirety from Futility Closet because Greg Ross is so entirely bitchin’ and everyone should send him money. There’s a somewhat related post here.]

In Memory of Erin O’Keefe

Mountain Rats 1876 a

A somber ceremony at Pike’s Peak 1876. The dangers of the new frontier were many, and there were many horrible ways one could part from the living.

Mountain Rats 1876

The U.S. Signal Service (an early Weather Bureau) built a telegraph station on the summit [of Pike’s Peak] in 1873 to monitor the weather, and a guard was posted in Manitou at the beginning of the trail to collect a toll for hiking to the summit.

In May of 1876, tragedy befell the O’Keefe family when their daughter Erin was apparently eaten by mountain rats. The true story may be found here.

[Bottom image found here, top image here. Related post here.]

Saturday Matinee – Frog Payback, Armadillo Song & Red Nightmare

Froggie payback in less than half a minute.

“I Wanna Go Home To The Armadillo.”
I’ve heard that song so many times without knowing the words, let alone the source. It’s the theme song to Austin City Limits, performed by Gary P. Nunn and Jerry Jeff Walker. (Oh and by the way, unless you’re sporting functional longrider hats, y’all just look silly.)

Red Nightmare is a must watch. Anything featuring Jack Webb is by default automatically awesome and true. [via]

Have a great weekend, folks. More great stuff is coming up, whether you like it or not.

The .Gif Friday Post No.256 – Dance Hard, Old Man Doodle & Ephemeral Barrio

[First and Third found here and here.]

The middle one was my own experiment with MS Paint. Doodle, click, save, repeat x 86, then plug it into JASC and see what happens. Note that it was all done by right-hand mouse-clicks, even though I’m a southpaw. It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes I’m just entirely too bitchin’ for words.

Another Great Gift Idea

I love rural hand-painted highway signs that are spelled correctly and get right to the point, like this one. (Note that the pavement is blackened from all the cars screeching to a stop upon spotting this effective advertisement).

[Found here.]

Telephone Devolution 1967

Mail Call Letterpack – You get two players that play only the cartridges you can buy from Smith Corona and you can send a 3, 6 or 10 minutes letter. Just $70 a pair in 1967, these would be $450 in today’s dollars. How is this better than a phone? They say, it has no static and it’s cheaper!

Life, 1967

Make a 10 minute telephone call that will get to its destination in 4-5 business days, and in 4-5 business days you might get one back and can continue the conversation. Beats buying a reel-to-reel, and squelches telemarketers, too.

[Found here.]

I Don’t Know What It Means, But I Like It.

[Found here.]

Mid-1500’s Half Bath Chair

Okay. Let’s try to suss this one out.

There’s a throne with a hole, and a basin to catch the football that for some odd reason is located in front of the seat. There’s a megaphone to amplify the action, presumably to alert a nearby attendant that a goal has been scored. The attendant opens a small valve and dumps it on the floor. But then, um, it won’t, er, like, you know, it doesen’t, well, work and, uh, hmm. I give up.

Image Description: Subject: Chair with opening in the seat and a tub underneath with a spigot attached; for the purpose of producing steam baths to alleviate the pain of bladder stones.

[Found in here, via here. Related post here.]

The .Gif Friday Post No.255 – Quasicrystals as sums of waves in the plane

[Found here, via here. Updated with enlarged portion.]

[Update 2: Just realized that I made a typo several months ago, and The .Gif Friday Posts were mis-numbered by a factor of 100. The titles and permalinks are fixed now. Lo siento.]

Dude looks like a Lady

And vice versa. Sometimes we find stuff that’s just too stupid to post, yet too inane to throw away.  This is one of them.

[Found hair.]