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Saturday Matinee: Hanky Panky

Okeydokey, they’re my favorites again for a few minutes. The 5678’s with Hanky Panky (careful with your speakers, it’s loud).

Tommy James and the Shondells’ version with invisible drums. His baby does the hanky panky, too, but she doesn’t move much (you can turn your speakers back up for this one).

Regarding the Original Version:

This was originally released as the B-side of a 1963 single by the Raindrops, “That Boy John.” The Raindrops were composers Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich. Shortly after the release of the Raindrops’ version, 13-year-old Tommy Jackson, who would become Tommy James, slipped into a club in South Bend, Indiana and listened to a local band, the Spinners (not the hitmakers of the ’70s) play this. After hearing the song drive the crowd wild, Jackson wanted to record it for his second single (he had released one locally the previous year). Jackson and his group, The Shondells, recorded the song at a radio station in his hometown of Niles, Michigan.

When Jackson recorded this, he couldn’t remember all the lyrics, so he made up some on the spot.

That explains A LOT. Here’s a photo of The Raindrops (from this glorious site):

Rockin’ hard in 1963. It is intuitively obvious to the casual observer that the babe on the right does the hanky panky, the one on the left says she does, but she really doesn’t, and the guy in the middle does it by himself most of the time. You can download their version here, but only if you really really want to. (I really really didn’t.)

The next best thing, relatively speaking, is from the excellent Tube Number 1. Tico & the Triumphs’ “Cards of Love.” Have at it.

[If that’s not enough, here’s “Shining Boots” courtesy of Finicky Penguin. If you need “Help,” Miss Cellanea will tell you where to go.]

Saturday Matinee: I Want A Gnu

Great song, great ukelele… Unfortunately, the music’s in him, and it’s just screamin’ to get out of the room without waking up his parents. (‘Sokay, bro, I can’t sing and play at the same time either.)

“Have You Ever Seen Lorraine?” Here she is, twitchin’ and bitchin’ to the Ramones’ version.

But THIS is the link that set me off. The Original Creedence Clearwater Survival version, found at Casual Slack.

Babe Magnet: All Terrain Barracuda

“Don’t hassle me, man, I’m here to replace your toner cartridge. I mean it. Back off already. Look, all the roads are closed, but I got here, okay? So just back off. You gotta buck for gas?”

This is a prime example of the best of the rural Babe Magnet genre, and one of the last of the breed that uses a speedometer as a gas gauge. The owner’s name just has to be “Danny,” but his friends call him “Bo.” Bo added glasspacks, airshocks and oversized rims to this classic muscle car, and jacked it up so he wouldn’t get stuck in three-foot high mud drifts along the levee. Pure efficient genius.

The Babe Magnetage factor is subdued, but if you look closer, it’s there in all its glory. The sub-bumper floodlights, the purple window tinting, the flat black “Smokey’s radar ain’t never gonna reflect this” paint job spells it all out for the Johnson twins, Velveeta and Vivarina.

The double V’s beg for rides to the Reddy-Mart for Slush Puppies and Moon Pies while Bo feigns disinterest. He slaps in an 8-track of Uriah Heep’s Greatest Hits, pops open a warm YooHoo with his thumb, and leaves a rooster tail of crushed rock on his way to his job restocking fan belts at the Sunoco station.

[Image from here.]

Saturday Matinee: Catfish Noodlin’, Chairman, The Commitments, Wilson Pickett & the Big O

Noodlin’ is catchin’ de fishes widdout dem bait in tackle. Feel ‘roun’ fo de ho in de mud, reach innan grab ‘im what dere. Justin Wilson be done do dat, too. Noah fence.

There are professional noodlers, and the good ones are missing fingers because snapping turtles nest the same way. (Once they got you, turtles won’t let go.)

Then there’s this. It’s cool, too, except for that giggle at the end.

[Aussie friend Phil phound the catfish catch. Chair kick found at Arbroath.]

Lookee here folks… this particular post has no theme, so it makes complete sense to post a coupla completely unrelated videos here.

“The Commitments” was a very underrated movie about a bunch of Irish misfits that came together with a love for 1960’s American R&B and pulled it off before self-destructing. Put it on your “must rent” list if you’ve not seen it.

Here’s the real deal that’s too hot to handle and too cold to hold: The Wicked Wilson Pickett’s “Land of 1000 Dances.”

Otis Redding followed in Wilson’s footsteps. Here’s “Try A Little Tenderness.” Look for Steve Cropper, Duck Dunn, Al Jackson and Booker T. Jones (Booker T. & the M.G.’s) backing him up.

Babe Magnet: Duct Tape

It’s a difficult call as to whether or not this magnificent piece of machinery truly qualifies as a genuine Babe Magnet. The role of the duct tape would give it automatic induction into the realm of the BM, but this relic seems to be sitting a a few too many parking lots downstream of the Stop-N-Go store in uptown Tomball.

In other words, it just isn’t advertising itself… except for one, actually two details.

Yep. Rubber doorstops for the broken window regulator grant this monster machine a solid thumbs up as a genuine Babe Magnet. Pure efficient genius.

[Images from here.]

UPDATE 12 March 2008: I’m embarrassed to admit that I missed one other important detail. The seven little white things on the dashboard are either (a) Sun-bleached Easter peeps from last year; (b) Partially consumed rice balls; (c) A used Kleenex collection; or (d) Little tiny ghosts.

There may be other solutions to the mystery of the little white things. I know that some of y’all have more expertise identifying LWT’s through the windshield of a Babe Magnet than I, and I’d appreciate any suggestions so that we can put this Bunk stumper to rest.

Hot Links

Although Bunk would prefer that y’all stay here, sometimes it’s necessary to open the door a crack and let ch’all go out and play. Just be back here by midnight.
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The Rock-A-Teens, 1959, “WooHoo” here.

The 5678’s “WooHoo” here.

Clever advertising here.

Photos found at a swap meet of an unknown family who probably owned a liquor store here.

Coffee, oddness and live podcasts at Rockhoppers. Get wired and laid back at the same time.

I don’t know why you’d want to do it, but if you have to, here are step-by-step instructions on how to “Purple Wash” your dolls.

I reuse my calendars. mini-contest-best-short-joke.

Some websites are updated every 60 seconds. One of them can be found here.

Funky time wasters here and here.

The Museum of Scientifically Accurate Fabric Brain Art here.

Speaking of Fabric Brain Art, check out Clay Pigeon. Kinda like the Onion, only better.

A very addictive time waster here. (I gave up after level 16.)

How many of States in the USA have you been to? Give your answers here and it’ll show you a map of them in case you forgot where they were.

Tuscan Whole Milk 1 gallon 128 fl. oz. is still available at Amazon, with over 900 great customer reviews. (Caution: If you read the reviews while drinking a tall cold glass of it, Tuscan Whole Milk will come out your nose.)

Much absurdity may be found here from Bunk’s previous life as a stray poster for SNTC. In those days Bunk only posted once every coupla weeks or so, before he jumped face-first into the blogpool with Tacky Raccoons.

R2D2 Beta Version ca. 1871

Some images are just too cool to caption, but so what.

R2D2 [steam powered beta version] was a mechanical dork even back then. “Tweep Pleeeert REEEP,” means only one thing in droidland, and it’s not nice.

[Image from GadgetConcierge. Related posts here and here.]

Luxury Villa for Sale/Lease

Luxury Vacation Hideaway for Sale or Lease

Country Living at its Best. Just 17 minutes from Muley’s Bait and Tackle and Bieber’s Grocery, close access to Boones Road (newly paved). Not too far from R.D.2. Easy access to nearby Fooser’s Corner via footpath. Although situated in a dry county, weekly delivery service for wine and beer is available, case orders only. Spirits are available at Hamm’s 20 Mile Stand in Purdy, 46 mi. west on Route 4, Convenient parking is less than a quarter mile away uphill to the east. FWD is recommended.

All units have clear views of the flood control channel adjacent to the B&O Freight line. Community patio includes the central water feature that reflects the stars as you and your loved ones relax to the sounds of nature and share stories of your recent adventures. Site is fully landscaped with mature native botanical gardens, and is irrigated by mother nature herself.

What more can a naturalist like yourself hope for? How about the wild potatoes and onions down on the flood plain? (Not accessible March through May, and October through March.)

Each unit is equipped with running water, a full kitchenette, new built-in vinyl furniture, new linoleum and carpetile floors, and Marlite® simulated knotty pine paneling throughout. Centralized laundry/toilet facilities. Electricity is provided 5AM-8PM daily (except for Sundays, via four 5000W Briggs & Stratton generators located uphill).

The community sound system provides ambient music 24/7 via battery backup. Enjoy “Hank William’s Greatest Hits” and the “Bill Monroe Story” each and every time you step out onto your private veranda. (A different mix is programmed every day.)

You know you want it. You know you deserve it. Will trade for late model Winnebago with DVD player and 1/2 tank of gasoline minimum.

[Photo & description via Strutts Divestment Properties LLC.
Tip ‘o the Tarboosh to Robt P.]

UPDATE: Snopes has the true story of this image here. ‘Snot what you think.

Go to the Head of the Class

“Look! Out in the water! It’s a duck! It’s a boat! It’s a sauna! It’s a floating summer cottage!” No you fools. It’s MallardMan.

Fin-duck is powered by an outboard motor. The driver’s place is in the head of the “duck”, where a chair can be put into position when someone sits there. On the back of the “duck” one can take sun. Eight persons can sit in front of a fireplace. In the sauna fits four persons.

Measurements:
Length 5,5 m
With 2,8 m
Height 3,2 m
Height in saloon 195 cm
Draught 25 cm
Weight 900 kg
Speed about 5 knots
Equipment:
Outboard motor 15 hv
Fireplace
Sauna and shower
Toilet and hand basin
Kitchen with a sink and a refrigerator

I can hear it now:

“Honey, when are we gonna get underway?”

“Any minute dear. But first I have to go to the head.”

Then there’s this lovely lair of leisure:

“Wellness Skull” by Atelier Van Lieshout. Like Wellness centers it has a few places to relax. In the neck of the skull is a small bath. The head of the Skull contains a sauna.

If you say so. Like I really need to go to the head to relax. Then I find that it’s full of warm water, just like I thought. I can hear it now:

“Honey, you need to relax.”

“I’ll relax after I go to the head! Is that okay with you, DEAR?!”

Meanwhile, I Love Lucy:

Lucy the Elephant is an American Treasure. I can hear it now:

“Honey, there’s no sauna in there! Why are you running?”

“Get outta my way, dear! I’ve gotta go to the head!”

[Images with indented commentary from here, here and here.]

Hoogerbrugge Stickers

This is important. Han Hoogerbrugge has never offered such surreal artwork at such an affordable price. He is selling his stickers for the new low low price of their worth.

But before you write this off as just another tacky plug for another more profitable operation, check out Hoogerbrugge’s website first. Years ago when Bunk was still a dialupper, he’d wait patiently for Hotel episodes to load, as he did for the excellent “Nails” series of animations.

HH’s work is surreal: amazing, amusing and disturbing, all at the same time. He’s the Ken Nordine of the Internet.

[UPDATE: Welcome Grow-A-Brain readers. Help yourselves to whatever isn’t nailed down. –Bunk]