Category: Humor

First Known Earth Fart Discovered (and Ignited); Gas Burns for Decades


DARVAZ’ HELLFIRE
Soviets found an earth fart and lit it.
Uzbekistan, Ukraine – (Strutts News Services)

According to various reports, a massive gas vent was discovered and subsequently ignited in 1973 by Soviet geologists in search of other stuff.  Some sources indicate that the global flatulence may have been ignited earlier than was initially reported.  From the amazing website English Russian:

“This place in Uzbekistan is called by locals “The Door to Hell”. It is situated near the small town of Darvaz. The story of this place lasts already for 35 years. Once the geologists were drilling for gas. Then suddenly during the drilling they have found an underground cavern, it was so big that all the drilling site with all the equipment and camps got deep deep under the ground. None dared to go down there because the cavern was filled with gas. So they ignited it so that no poisonous gas could come out of the hole, and since then, it’s burning, already for 35 years without any pause. Nobody knows how many tons of excellent gas has been burned for all those years but it just seems to be infinite there.”

Local immigrant resident Joey “Boris” Catawba summed it up.  “I’ve lived here for almost 10 years.  Everything always smells like burnt cheese and vinegar.  Someone should do something.  This really sucks.”

[More images here.]

Holy SkyGator, Batman!

Don’t move or look him in the eyes and he won’t see you.  Cue the Theme, then duck and cover.  Meet y’all back under the cypress roots. Good luck.

[Image from Bits & Pieces.]

EVABODY SAY “AARRRRGGGHHH!!”

Apparently, there’s a Russian holiday, where veterans of the Frontier Guard (looks to me to be about a dozen of ’em) get to cavort in fountains and drink lots and lots of vodka. Like this guy:

“ARE—YOU—READY—–TO RHUMBA?!”

No doubt about it. Russkies know how to party. AARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!

[More images of the festivities here, via here.]

Iran Photoshops Missile Launch

Here is the Photoshopped version of Iran’s missile launch released this past week:

Here is the original undoctored image:

Any questions?

[Images from a site that is, um, no longer proper to link to.]

Blackening the Bride

This is one way to blacken a bride. Atypical Events collected some odd wedding customs from around the world, and describes “blackening the bride” as:

“In the Scottish pre-wedding tradition of “Blackening the Bride,” The bride is taken by surprise and covered with foul substances, such as eggs, various sauces, feathers, and well you name it…

“The bride to be, officially blackened, is then paraded around town, and of course a few pubs, for all to see.”

I like the picture better without the description.

Arte y Pico Award

Tacky Raccoons Central was just notified that my fellow blogger and good ‘ol boy from down under Aussie Phil presented us with the coveted Arte Y Pico Award.  Here’s how it works.

If you receive this prestigious award, upon acceptance, you are required to post these original rules:
1) You must pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award, based upon creativity, design, interesting material, and that also contribute to the blogger community, no matter what language.
2) Each award must have the name of the author with a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3) Award-winners must show the award and put the name and link to the blog that awarded it.
4) Award-winners and the one who has given the prize must show the link to the Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5) These rules must be included in your post.
Since there is a limit of only five blogs that I can nominate out of many that I visit regularly and some have already been nominated, please do not feel slighted if I left your excellent blog off the list.
Statistics should catch up with you within a few generations of this post anyway.
So here we go, in alphabotanical order (no drumroll, just rimshots):
And to top it off, we’re all invited to Phil’s Phun House this weekend to celebrate. Don’t show up empty handed, and make sure you leave the toilet seat up after you’re done peeing on it.

Saturday Matinee: Ukeleles, Hair & Drums

Jake Shimabukuro makes his Uke Weep. Amazing.

Kaje. Nice hat. Nice Uke.

Nice animation.  Nice Uke.

Nice hair, no Ukes, but wait ’til you see their cantalopes. (Found it on this guy‘s website. The B-52’s are always cool.)

Not sure where these folks are from, but I’d love to hear ’em play this:

Todd Rundgren’s ska more than makes up for last week’s lack of Saturday Matinee offerings.  (Here’s Bad Manners’ take on “Bang the Drum All Day.” Unfortunately, no video, but Linerider rocks out here.)

[Image of headbangers via email from Grampa Strutts. More Ukelele here.]

Japanese Girl Rubber Mute

She looks like a fun girl who needs a big ‘ol honkin’ conch shell instead.  When used properly, it spits out blue three-leafed clovers.

(While you ponder that, check this out.   Capitol Records has squelched embedding classic videos like this one:

Music by the Marvelows.  Interpreted by Peter Wolf & the J. Geils Band.  Previously posted and squelched.

[Image via RGS.]

The .Gif Friday Post No. 38 – Cicada Pop

I snagged this emerging cicada .gif from FinPeng months ago. I met the cicadas again while I was out of town.  They haven’t changed.  I love ’em.  The ones I saw were black with little red beady eyes, and their wings were black, not green like this one’s.  Maybe they darken up later.

The cicada is the insect with the longest known lifespan; 17 years is the record, with all but a few days of it’s life spent underground as grubs.  Then they emerge from the ground, crawl up something convenient, and shed their shells.  Then they just screw around for a coupla weeks and make a lot of noise.  They don’t eat during this mating frenzy.  Then the females lay eggs in the trees, and die undignified deaths along with their mates.  The eggs hatch and the larva drop to the ground in shame where they burrow in for another 17 years.

Big Blue Rat Playground

Can’t help y’all on this one. All I know is she’s on a playground somewhere in Russia, apparently trying to resuscitate the rodent with back massage.  (And I picked the colors out myself.)

[Image from DRB.]