Category: News Not

Big ‘ol honkin’ Earth Fart is related to Dolphins.

Earthfart

Matua Island, MFN* (Strutts News Services) – It happens:

“This detailed astronaut photograph is exciting to volcanologists because it captures several phenomena that occur during the earliest stages of an explosive volcanic eruption. The main column is one of a series of plumes that rose above Matua Island on June 12. The plume appears to be a combination of brown ash and white steam. The vigorously rising plume gives the steam a bubble-like appearance. The eruption cleared a circle in the cloud deck. The clearing may result from the shockwave from the eruption or from sinking air around the eruption plume: as the plume rises, air flows down around the sides like water flowing off the back of a surfacing dolphin. As air sinks, it tends to warm and expand; clouds in the air evaporate.”

The phrase, “detailed astronaut photograph,” disturbs some folks, as there is no astronaut, detailed or otherwise, in the image.  Assuming there was such an entity, and that the image was indeed captured via a detailed astronaut, there are many unanswered questions that need to be answered or otherwise ignored.  For example:

Matua IslandWhich way was this “detailed astronaut”  being pointed when the picture was taken? What size mm lens, what film speed (400 ASA or greater?) and what was his/her f-stop setting?  Where was this detailed astronaut’s aperature located?  Who aimed the astronaut?  How on earth did he/she control the shutter speed?

Regardless, it’s a cool photo.

[Found here. Tip o’ the tarboosh to cbullitt. Related post here.]

*Middle of Freakin’ Nowhere.

[UPDATE: THERE’S VIDEO!]

Barf Barf Barf Barf Barf Barf Barf

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Save bucks, buy Barf in bulk. Kinda Pythonesque.

[Image found here.]

We are now somewhere between 12 and 24. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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[Serious statistical analysis from here via here.]

Ghost Riders in the Hot Links

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Cool social experiment: Tweenbots [found here].

Let’s make some Zen music.

Serious 3D total immersion video here.  The eyes override the brain.

What type of Web Commenter are YOU?  Descriptions here.  (As for me, you already know.)

Learn a new language here.

Some things you can’t “unclick” and there’s a big fat honkin’ one here.

Rockhoppers got their webcam back up and running.  YAY!

Buncha Buildings Bein’ Blowed-up here.

American ancestry brief from the 2000 census (via this excellent website). Interesting that the largest percentage, 1 in 6, described their ancestry as German.  When asked, I usually describe myself as European Mutt.

The New Yorker Magazine cartoon caption contest can always be answered with “[this].”

Nice tasty archive of linkages here.

Teh Fairies Debate parleys on.  Over 1,500 delightful educated comments for your perusal.

Seven questions about drinking water here.

And a cordial reminder:  Mother’s Day does not mean “Be a Pain in the Butt Day.”

A Nice Country Village by the Sea

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Some day, when my kids are grown and on their own, and I’m looking for a place to retire with the lovely and gracious Mrs. Strutts,  I’d like a nice country village in a temperate climate, maybe near the ocean.  A place to let the world pass by without traffic, without paved roads, without telemarketers.

tristan_da_cunha4A place I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted;  stay up late and sleep in as long as I liked.  And blog via satellite.

Maybe set up a little bed and breakfast stop for tourists and travellers, with a wine and cheese shop with tacky homemade postcards and hand-screened purple t-shirts. Maybe a place like this.  Or not. Click here, or click the top image, then zoom out.

[Link found at this amazing site.]

Sock Puppetry

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Last week, VE (of VE’s Fantastical Nonsense) went on vacation, and axed yours truly and several others to serve as Sock Puppets, to post and respond to comments as VE.  (Bunk had fun on Earth Day.)

VE returned and fessed up today…  in a moment,  the rest of the story…

Johann Tetris – 1928-2009

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Cartersville, GA  (Strutts News Services) – Even in an economic downturn, many businesses flourish. Tetris Constructions is one of them. Regardless, Johann “Joe” Tetris died yesterday afternoon of natural causes, succumbing to HSB.  HSB is known to laymen as “He Stopped Breathing.”

Johann Tetris 1993 TED Convention (Strutts News Services Archive Photo)
Johann Tetris at 1993 TED Conference (Strutts News Services Archive Photo)

TC founder Tetris was born into poverty but not by choice.  He’d intended to be born into wealth, but those dreams were squelched by economic forces beyond his control.  Ever since birth, Tetris fought to rise above the dirt-floor/waxed-paper windows of his childhood to create one of the most lasting icons of the “Information Age.”  That icon would be Tetris Constructions.

Tetris’ work is recobanized throughout the civilized world as cutting edge modular construction:  fast paced, low cost, rarely finished, but in Tetris’ own inimitable iconic style.

Some call it brutal. Others are both alarmed and enthralled at the possibilities and potentials of the breakneck speed of real-time design, combined with the willy-nilly construction system that Tetris Constructions promotes.

The TC motto sums it up: “We Build Faster than an Honest European Lunchbreak.”  Johann Tetris will be missed by many, but his legacy endures.

– Janessa Vapors (Strutts News Services)

[Found here.]

Tweety Bird Dead at 67

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Palm Springs, California (Strutts News Services) – Long admired yet not forgotten, Robert “Tweety Bird” Balderstien passed away at the age of 67 at his ranch home in Palm Desert, Southern California.

Robert Svenson Balderstien, hatched in 1942 in Suffolk, Massachusetts, by immigrant parents, adapted to the stage early, despite his hydrocephelitic condition. Contrary to popular belief, his medical condition did not cause his speech impediment, and for years he battled the stereotype.

Balderstien also rejected the contention that he was female, and fought the resulting insinuations and innuendos all his life before retiring in seclusion in Palm Desert, California.

sylvester-tweety“I never said, ‘I tawt I taw a puddy tat.’  I have perfect enunciation, but Warner Brothers chose to overdub my voice, and I was stuck with it ever since.”

Longtime friend and companion, Sylvester The Cat, also of Palm Desert, gave a touching eulogy that ended with, “Yeah.  I’ll mith him the motht. He alwayth thought he thaw me, and motht timeth he motht thertainly did.”

[Image from here.  Related obituary here.]

The Calvinball Sports Complex

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Hobbesville, North Carolina (Strutts News Services) – The importance of the coin toss increases a googlefold in the Calvinball Arena, but is negated by the hydraulics that control the field allowing line judges to place competing bets while manipulating field conditions, including windstorms and artificial rain.  All players may or may not be line judges, and there may be as many line judges as players, including none.  Every player is a referee and may interpret any other referee’s call while placing bets with the line judges. Video review is frequently used for re-interpretation of The Rules without stopping play.

For more on Calvinball, Mentalfloss has a pretty good description with links.

[Image from here.]

New Age Hair

nosehairOccasionally our esteemed web miners at Tacky Raccoons run short of post ideas due to prior commitments and responsibilities (like, um, well, other important stuff.)  When we run out of unique post images or topics, we resort to a simple parlor trick:  Google an image of a random word,  see what pops up,  and exploit it for pennies on the dollar.  (You wanna see LEDs on sheep? You won’t find it here. We don’t play the viral game.)

Today we’re talking new age hair.*

As we age, our bodies change in ways we only laughed about in grade school.  A few long eyebrow hairs are kinda cool, but ear hair is not.  Nor is the onslaught of middle age nose hair.  I have all three.

Fortunately, modern technology provides the answer for two-thirds of them, and the vacuum abhorred by nature is filled by this wonderful creation:

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Be forewarned that if you use this appliance for ear hair, it will change your eye color as well as the color and pattern of your shirt.

For sale here at the low price of $5.99 (unfortunately no used ones are listed.)  Get one for each nostril for only $11.98 plus snipping and handling.  An optional stainless steel flail attachment is available to grind out the crusties.

Not for use as a unowot, regardless of crusties.

[Image found here. Nose Hair Opinion Poll results here.] Continue reading “New Age Hair”