Category: True Stories

Babe Magnet for a Johnson

Whoa. Look what we’ve got here. A gen-u-ine Babe Magnet owned by someone who doesn’t know how to park.  After much deliberation here at TR HQ, the vote was split 6 to 5 in favor of awarding the coveted title of BM to this large scale version of a 12-year old’s customized Revelle model of a 1973 Chevy Impala ragtop. Pure efficient genius.

The question comes down to what type of person would drive such a PullMeOverNow car? A teenager would love it, but that’s unlikely due to the lack of moola factor, and someone in their 30s wouldn’t be seen standing next to it.  Early twenties with some serious expendable cash is as good a guess as any.

Unlike the other Babe Magnets we’ve dissected here, we know who the owner of this Tupperware-lid-wheeled ear of corn is.  Without cheating, try to guess  what he does for a living and how much he makes. Leave your assessment in the comments. The answer with links is below the break. Continue reading “Babe Magnet for a Johnson”

Practical Geometry


Steamboat McGoo found this excellent study illustrating the importance of understanding basic geometry. Although the explanation is in Japanese, it’s of critical importance that angle TQS is equal to angle AQE in order to cause the schoolboy’s jaw to drop.

There’s a pun in there somewhere about an extra riser, but I’m not gonna go there.

[Whoa. Just found the source of that excellence. There are a series of  Manga textbooks, and they’re available in other languages including Portuguese. Tip o’ the tarboosh to mars for the update.]

Larry

The Three Stooges would have been nothing without Larry Fine, and all you have to do is imagine Moe Howard with only Curly Howard, or Moe with only Shemp Howard.  To be sure,  a team of  Shemp, Curly and Larry wouldn’t have lasted long without Moe Howard’s belligerence.  Larry Fine was awesome.

[Image found in here.]

Security Warning = An Ounce of Prevention

Simple, yet effective. No dinosaurs have threatened this household since the warning sign was posted by a safety-conscious 4 year old. I’m going to enlarge the image, print it and post it on our front door, just in case.

[Found here.]

Happy Independence Day

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Cease and Desist

Recently, Snork emailed me a .jpg image of the infamous Unicorn Meat (as shown below left). Here is the full advertisement from Think Geek:

The Unicorn Meat advert went semi-viral after it was posted on April Fools’ Day this year. But there’s an update to the innocent prank.

I’d never heard of the National Pork Board, but apparently they sniffed out a clear case of trademark infringement. On 5 May 2010, the international law firm of Faegre & Benson faxed the owners of the Think Geek website a 12-page letter, excerpted below.

“This law firm represents National Pork Board in connection with its intellectual property rights.

We are writing to you in connection with your activities at the website http://www.thinkgeek.com, wherein you have been marketing a product called “Radiant Farms Canned Unicorn Meat” using the slogan “Unicorn- the new white meat.”

See, NPB owns the trademark “The Other White Meat” in the U.S., Canada, and the European Union. Unfortunately their lawyers didn’t realize that Trademark Infringement does not extend to parodies, and that unicorns don’t really exist. [Full story here, via here, and crossposted here.]

Hot Links of the Sarcophilus harrisii

Jack Harrison, the last survivor who participated in The Great Escape of WWII passed away on 4 June 2010. There’s an interesting interactive illustration of one of the tunnels here. [h/t to Wheels.]

Albino Raccoons.

Who is the Horseboy?

Disgusting prank is disgusting.

Awesome invention by a Ham radio afficionado that fights cancer.

Cadillacs and Album Covers here.  Two more here.

Google is getting so full of information it occasionally collapses under its own weight.

Need a chemical suit? Lookee here.

Live webcam in Amsterdam with sound here.

Speaking of sound, the Zambelli Family is awesome.

Amazing staring contest back stage at the Webby Awards. [via The Presurfer.]

What’s your American dialect? Here’s one test and here’s another.

The Sci-Fi Airshow has an online guided tour. I’m going next week. [via]

Saturday Matinee – The Clarks, Dan Akroyd, Eubie Blake, Tandy & Randy Newman

The Clarks! Tip o’ the Tarboosh to coldwarrior.

Dan Akroyd plays James Cotton‘s version of Ike Turner‘s Rocket 88.

Eubie Blake was awesome. He was 95 in 1978 when this interview was recorded.

During the break there’s  an advertisement for the troublesome RadioShack TRS-80 computer system, using magenetic tape cassettes for data storage. Only cost $599! That’s about $2,000 in today’s dollars. Later on, after users complained about problems with the cassette drives, Tandy eventually offered an awesome 5MB hard drive accessory, about the same size as a PC today, for $1,500 – a whopping $4,900 today.

Okay, 1978 was probably the peak of the (gag) disco phase, and the birth of R&B pop love anthems. There is absolutely nothing that ranked in the top 20 that I’d post here, except for maybe for the Stone’s “Miss You.” Worst song they ever did IMO.

On the other hand, this song made No. 41, and Randy Newman gets kudos for writing the most misunderstood song of the year:

Have a great weekend, folks, and meet me back here tomorrow.

Saturday Matinee – Swamp Rock, Ben E. King, Boz & Anson

I love this. Swamp rock with the most bizarre low budget video I’ve run across (found here) and it’s not even Cajun.

The video for The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band‘s new song Clap Your Hands was shot in one day in a barn in Indiana. All of the dancers, artists, freaks, weirdos, cowboys, kids, donkeys, bunko steerers, chickens, and regular folks, who are all Hoosiers, all volunteered their time and talent because they believed in the song and the band. The video was directed/produced by the acclaimed music video producer Kevin Custer (Lil Wayne, Soldja Boy, Flogging Molly) who remarked the day of the shoot, it would have cost a fortune to get all of these props back in NYC. To which The Rev. Peyton replied, These arent props they are just crap you find in a barn!

Ben E. King‘s great song as performed by a variety of performers. [Tip o’ the Tarboosh to Leeuna for posting it.]

Cbullitt tossed this one into the comments section a few days ago, and now I have new respect for Boz Scaggs. Here he is with Anson Funderburgh and an allstar lineup, including Blue Lou Marini.

Have a big ‘ol honkin’ great weekend folks.

We Kicked England’s Balls

Although the World Cup actually began yesterday somewhere in Africa, the USA team kicked England’s arse in a tie of 1-1. I’ll explain why shortly.

The game supposedly originated when victorious Brits began a game of kicking around the skull of a dispatched Roman soldier. Eventually the skull was replaced with an inflated sheep’s bladder (brilliance), and they began kicking that up and down the path between rival villages. The game spread to other villages, and gained the name of “Association Football,” abbreviated to “Assoc.” A participant was termed an “Assoc-er,” thus was the game of Soccer introduced into the English speaking world.

I doubt the previous summary is entirely accurate, but humor me for the attempt at historical improvisation.

Most Americans these days are introduced to Soccer (or Football as the rest of the civilized world calls it) via AYSO, an excellent organization that introduces their kids to the sport and allows parents to yell at each other with impunity over rules they don’t understand. The offsides rule is particularly difficult for us yanks to comprehend because you can’t actually see it unless you are standing right behind the line judge (who is constantly in motion up and down the sidelines) when the foul occurs.

So today, England, the ancestral homeland of the sport, was supposed to have had an easy win over the supposedly inept USA team. It was expected to be a blowout, and with a goal within the first five minutes of play, England led by infinity. However, in the last few minutes of the first half, the Brit keeper floundered allowing a tie score. He’s on suicide watch now, although it wasn’t entirely his fault as nine of his own teammates blew it before the bladder even reached him.

The USA team should be proud, even at a final score of 1-1. England got their pointy little noses polished. Now we’ll work on their teeth.