Tacky Raccoons

Saturday Matinee – Gravity, Blackberry Smoke w/ Billy Gibbons & Zappa

Gravity troubles featuring Shaun Micallef. [h/t this guy].
Reminds me of Zegar Reyers‘ “Rotating Kitchen.” Reyers blew it in my opinion by not installing a rotating camera like they did for this classic scene from 1968.

Blackberry Smoke Live with Billy Gibbons, Ft. Lauderdale Florida, 30 November 2011. Great swamp rock blues, and Blackberry Smoke is NOT country pop. [h/t Russ via email.]

Country pop annoys me for many reasons. It’s predictable, prepackaged, over engineered and mass-produced; the rhymes are stretched, and it has no soul. But Southern Rock kicks. Here’s The Allman Brothers ‘ “Whipping Post” from September 1970 as interpreted by Frank Zappa and band (here’s why) circa 1984.

And with that we’re out for the weekend. Have a great one, folks.

The .Gif Friday Post No.306 – Dance Hard

[Found here, here and here.]

Oh yeah, and we added a category entitled “Dance Hard.” Cool stuff there.

One Step Beyond: A Very Serious Emergency Exit

“Hello, Ma’am. May I help you?”

“Yes, I’m here to sign up for ObamaCare because my insurance carrier dropped me.”

“I can help you with that, but I need some information first. I need your age, weight, height, current medical status and your Social Security ID card with an ID.”

“Here’s my card and my driver’s license. I’m 67, 5′-7″, 210 lbs., diabetic, smoker, varicose veins, and have high blood pressure.”

“Do you drink alcohol?”

“All I can get.”

“Do you own a firearm?”

“What? Yes I do. For self defense.”

“Huh. Are you aware that ObamaCare provides free contraceptives and coverage for pregnancy?

“I’ve had a hysterectomy.”

“That doesn’t matter, because you’ll still be covered just in case. Who did you vote for in the last presidential election?”

“What does that have to do with medical insurance?”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am, but I need that information to process your enrollment.”

“I voted for Mitt Romney.”

“Okay. I’ve got your info entered and it looks like you qualify for ObamaCare Plan 9.
Please proceed down the hall to Waiting Room 2, Door 314, and an ObamaCaregiver will be with you shortly. Have a nice day.”

What a bizarre nightmare of bureaucratic fascism Obamacare has become. It has nothing to do with so-called “affordable health care” because it’s more insidious than that. Look beyond the facade of the ObamaCare website fiasco, and there’s nothing but expensive darkness, economic gloom, substandard medical care and more.

Make no mistake, the aging “baby boomer” generation, those of us born between 1946 and 1964, are the targets, because we’re old enough to remember atrocities perpetrated by the Left here and abroad. ObamaCare is just another vehicle designed to erase the past in order to promote a radical leftist agenda, and it’s got lethal teeth.

People still wonder how mass murderers like Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Hitler, Ho Chi Minh & Pol Pot came to power and killed off millions of their own people. We’re witnessing the same process today, via a clever but insidious program known as ObamaCare, and that’s not hyperbole. If ObamaCare is fully enacted, the Missus and I will suffer, but I worry for my kids who will suffer more, because they won’t know why.

Teach Your Children Well.

[Image found here. Related snarky post here.]

Northern Arboreal Dogfish

“I’ve found a three. On the three it hang a head. A head of a fairly large fish. In the fish heads mouth it were two other, smaller dead fishes.”

[Found here. Click to enlarge images.]

8:9:10 11/12/13

Hour: Minute: Second; Month/Day/Year
Cool Date/time numerical convergence.

Armistice Day: The 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month of 1918

The letter below was penned by my grand-uncle Walter (1899-1978) to his parents (my great-grandparents). He had just turned 19, and was serving in the US Army Signal Corps. In WWI that meant he was stationed at the German Front, providing reconnaissance from balloons and wiring reports via telegraph. Very dangerous place to be.

21 August 1918 – France

Dearest Mom and Dad,

Was under fire for the first time recently. No casualties. Believe me you never heard such an unearthly noise. Everything quiet then all of a sudden “Boom” s-h-h-h sh-sh-sh. The boom is when the shell bursts and the “sh” sounds like the wind whistling through a crack. The “sh” is caused by flying splinters. The damned Deutsch can’t hit a barn so we should worry. We have dugouts.

Sorry I can’t tell more. This may be cut out. I don’t think it will though because there is no information. I guess the Deutsch remember shooting at us. So this letter wouldn’t give them any “info”.

You say that you will meet me when I get off the returning transport. I think the day when I arrive will be about 10 years hence, at the present rate. However, though, the unexpected might happen and I might get home inside of 9 years instead of ten. So you get my impression from the above paragraph. However though, I am absolutely not homesick.

Of course I would like to get home, which is only natural. But I don’t want to get home ’till the “Guerre” is finished and finished to a frizzle and finished in our favor, and the damned deutsch exterminated.

We are now sleeping on the ground and in pup tents. Great sport, too. Just like a big camp.

Well, I guess we will call things off for the present. So, “Au revoire cher Pere et Mere.” I will see you “Apres La Guerre.”

With love,
Soldier Bill

Unfortunately, The Armistice lasted barely twenty years, allowed the creation of the WehrMacht, and WWII ensued. The Korean “Conflict” was stalled the same way, and now North Korea is a dangerous rogue nation. Do I need to mention Iran? Fini La Guerre.

God Bless all Veterans who fight selflessly for what’s right.

[Related posts here.]

Insta-Tan

According to some venues these days, everyone hates being born white, so here’s the solution. Flick the Zippo, fire up the burner, and whammo.
Instant tan. Guaranteed to turn your hair black, too.

[Found in here.]

Don’t Sit Under The Argan Tree

These goats live in a small region in southwestern Morocco where the Argan tree grows. Although the region is semi-arid desert and there’s fodder elsewhere, they love argan berries. They’re goat candy. Since the goats can’t reach them from the ground, they learned to climb Argan trees.

But that’s not the weird part.

When the goats poop, local women pick out the hard undigested nuts, crack them, extract the seeds, mash and grind them up, and produce argan oil – all by hand. It gets stranger: only women are allowed to do it.

Women […] run the entire industry, which is an incredible fact considering that Morocco is a rather patriarchal society. Only women are taught to make argan oil, and they are the sole gatekeepers to the centuries-old method. Much of the country’s oil is made in cooperatives that allow women the opportunity to work and make money independently [via].

Then they rub it on their faces, put it in their hair or eat it. TRUE.

But take this story a step further, and it becomes downright astounding. One sunny day, hundreds of years ago, some Berber women figured it out:

“Hey, Fatima! Bouchra! I found some goat crap under a tree. I bet there’s something in it that we can eat AND wear. Whaddya think? Don’t tell the guys.”

And the rest is history. But wait. There’s more:

The Berbers were the same people that produced Berber carpets, and had a hand in producing purple dye from seashells – the color of Roman Royalty. It’s also interesting to note that a large percentage of Berbers were Jews, Christians and Animists before those sects were marginalized by Islam in the 7th Century. The Barbary pirates were Islamic Berbers, thrived in the world-wide slave trade, and the word “barbarian” has etymological roots to the Berbers as well.

Goats-trees-berries-poop-cosmetics-food-Morocco-Berbers-carpet-purple-Islam-pirates-slavery-barbarians. What a connection, and it all began with Goats In Trees.

Fun Facts To Know And Tell.

[Image found here. Somewhat related post here.]

Saturday Matinee – Moto-X Baby, Hugh Maskela, Big Joe Turner & Muddy Waters

Apparently this dates from the 1990 or so, and predates the Internet as we know it. [Source found here.]

“Excuse Me Baby Please” by Hugh Maskela 2007(?) featuring high school friend Morris Goldberg on sax. Maskela’s better known in the U.S. for his 1968 hit “Grazing In The Grass.”

“Baby Please Don’t Go.” Big Joe Williams was the first to record it in 1935, and it’s been covered by many bands since, both in blues and rock. Here’s Williams’ solo version, live, on 9-string guitar. We may have posted this one before, but so what. We probably posted the next one as well.

Muddy Waters‘ live version of the same song, featuring James Cotton on harmonica, in Chicago 22 November 1981. It’s a classic performance, then some friends showed up to make it awesome.That’s a wrap for this edition of The Saturday Matinee.

Have a great weekend, folks, and don’t forget VETERANS DAY. EVER.