Category: True Stories

the history fart

Approximately 200-400 years ago during Japan’s Edo period, an unknown artist created what is easily the most profound demonstration of human aesthetics ever committed to parchment. I am referring to He-Gassen a.k.a. 屁合戦 a.k.a. “the fart war.” In this centuries-old scroll, women and men blow each other off the page with typhoon-like flatulence. Toss this in the face of any philistine who claims that art history is boring.

Ancient Japanese art is a gas – but my hoax-alert antennae are twitching with the reference to “He-Gassen” even though I found another source here.

[Found here, h/t Princess Natasha.]

The Most Popular Badge in Afghanistan

With tensions at an all time high in Afghanistan following the Koran burnings, the urination video, and the killing of 16 civilians, attention is now falling on a long line of “Infidel” apparel and gear.

Exhausted from how they feel they’re being perceived, troops have taken to wearing patches and carrying items that label themselves infidels, and offer translation in local dialect.

In the Muslim world an infidel means literally “one without faith” who rejects the central teachings of Islam.

Military.com tracked down Clayton Montgomery at Mil-Spec Monkey, a large online seller of infidel gear, who says his most popular item by far is the “Pork Eating Crusader Patch.”

[Full story here, h/t Soylent Green. Larger size image for lifting and posting below the break.]

[Update: For those interested in reading an assessment of the situation in Afghanistan, Pete Hegseth, emailing from Kabul in January 2012, has some interesting (and disturbing) observations.

Pete Hegseth, founder of Vets For Freedom, is now posted to Afghanistan, where he has been training Afghans as well as American and coalition troops. His reports on the situation there are as knowledgeable as any you can find. Here is his final dispatch — long but worth reading through to the end.

Read the whole thing here:  http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2012/01/endgame-in-afghanistan.php

Continue reading “The Most Popular Badge in Afghanistan”

Cosmic Slop

“Space Traders” was produced by HBO films and is based on a short story writhed by Prof. Derrick Bell, Barack Obama’s Harvard Law professor. Big Hollywood: “Bell eventually resigned from Harvard in 1992, and continued to stir controversy. He wrote a short story, “The Space Traders,” in which he imagined that Americans would sell blacks to aliens in exchange for gold to repay the national debt. He also implied that Jews would help blacks only out of a sense of self-preservation, turning Holocaust victim and diarist Anne Frank into “the symbol of Jewish hypocrisy.””

And, yeah, that’s the head of George Clinton, Commander of The Mothership, presented for amusement purposes only.

[For those of you who are following the 2012 US Presidential Elections, and regardless of your political affiliations, I strongly suggest that you check this site daily for important updates. –Bunk]

Get Down

This reminds me of when I ran out of dishwasher detergent and decided that Ivory Liquid was a good substitute. Clicked ON and went to work, came home to an apartment full of suds.

The worst part was that it occurred in my dad’s apartment, and he fixed the problem so it wouldn’t happen again. He booted me out.

[Found here]

Workout

[Found here.]

Beads, Beer, Boobs & Blues = Heureux Mardi Gras!

Mardi Gras Indians are the Mardi Gras most people don’t see. Modern Day Indians came from a time when African Americans felt left out of the traditional Mardi Gras krewes and parades. Residents from wards around New Orleans formed their own sort of Krewe and named them after their streets or wards. The Indians created elaborate costumes and names themselves after Native Americans- as tribute to the Native American tribes’ role in freeing the slaves. They designated someone to be the Spy, the Flag boy and the Big Chief and these tribes led processions through the streets. In the past, Mardi Gras Indians were violent, but today most tribes simply act out a scene when passing other tribes. Indians do not follow any schedule or parade route and a rare thing to see on Mardi Gras.

Of course there are also a lot of beads, beer, boobs and blues:

Everyone should experience Mardi Gras in New Orleans at least once. The parades are awesome, the music is great, and there are uninhibited  and inebriated college girls. There are also pickpockets, drug dealers and people who will fight you over a plastic necklace. The beer/drinks are cheap (since they deal in volume) and the streets and sidewalks flow with unmentionable liquids so you’ll need to burn your shoes afterwards. Again, everyone should experience Mardi Gras in New Orleans at least once.

[Top image and story found here; 2nd image found here. There are hidden bonuses, too –  click a pic.]

Humpty Dumping


[via]
There was a reason the nursery rhyme didn’t mention an egg. According to Wiki, the earliest known publication was in 1803:

According to the Oxford English Dictionary the term “humpty dumpty” referred to a drink of brandy boiled with ale in the seventeenth century. The riddle probably exploited, for misdirection, the fact that “humpty dumpty” was also eighteenth-century reduplicative slang for a short and clumsy person.

Although there are other unproven theories that the rhyme references an historical figure or event, Humpty Dumpty was merely a riddle of the “What Am I” sort, and the answer was “an egg.”  (And ten dozen guys couldn’t figure out how to make an omelette?) Try this one:

I am white
And wet to touch;
I can blind
If you stare too much.

Saturday Matinee – FaceBook Etiquette, Carnival Cheats,Texting Scam, Bob Kuban & The In-Men and The Undisputed Truth

We had to watch that in junior high school. We all snickered to ourselves and laughed out loud afterwards. Once school let out, we went trolling anyway:

“Hello, Mrs. Jenkins? This is Bob from Hi-Times Liquor. Your husband left his wallet and motel key on the counter.”

“You Asked For It”  was an early television show that pulled in viewers by asking for requests. This one shows some old carnival gaffes, some of which are still employed.

Here’s a modern day fraud to be aware of. The Real Hustle was an interesting show. Here’s 90 minutes worth of bar bets that should keep you busy for a while.

Bob Kuban & The In-Men had their one hit in 1966 with “The Cheater” and the song fits. (Irony note: Kuban was killed by his wife’s boyfriend in 1983.) I couldn’t find a live version, but this works.

“Smiling Faces” was originally recorded by the Temptations, but was a hit with this cover by The Undisputed Truth in 1971.

That’s our collection for this episode of The  Saturday Matinee. Have a great weekend folks and we’ll see you tomorrow whether you like it or not.

The .Gif Friday Post No.214 – Spit Spaz, Bowser Bidet, Lighthouse Wave, Beach Basket Cat





[Found here, here, here and here,]

A.M. Bacon’s Contribution To The World

There you have it. A.M. Bacon invented personal space. Awesome.

From A. M. Bacon, Manual of Gesture (1875).

[Found here.]