Category: Food Stuff

Failblog Fail: Cincinnati Chili

Our crack team of webminers here at Tacky Raccoons have identified a true Failblog Fail, although there is definitely a double entendre there.

Skyline Chili, Gold Star Chili and others in southwestern Ohio are regional favorites. This stuff of modern legend doesn’t resemble or taste like chili from elsewhere.  It’s more like a granular soup that you ladle over spaghetti and add toppings.  Bunky discovered it while in High School on weekends after the football/basketball/cheerleader eyeballin’ games.  Pure survival eatin’-when-yer-hungry-food.  If you’re not in the southern Ohio region, you can order it online (click on the images for details).

HOWEVER… The frozen stuff is prolly better but you’ll pay a premium for shipping with dry ice;  The canned stuff, well, Bunk ordered a case of it once and it’s kinda sucky oily… but it’s close to the original.

Many moons ago when Bunky went-a courtin’ the lovely and future Mrs. Strutts, he introduced her to the delicacy favored by locals in the eastern regions of this Glorious Nation, and the future Mrs. Strutts played along until she threw up in the parking lot.

Now about this 3-Way stuff…  That’s how you order it:
3-Way = Spaghetti, Chili, and finely grated cheddar cheese;
4-Way = Same as a 3-Way with onions OR red beans ;
5-way = Same as a 3-Way with onions AND red beans.
(This last one was Bunk’s favorite.)

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot the little saltine oyster crackers, but they don’t count as a “Way.”

Then there’s this:

You’re on your own if you run with that one.  (I’ll give y’all the Strutts Family Recipe, but ya gotta beg.)

[Top image from here.]

Sushi for Squirrels

Sometimes you’re just hungry enough to eat it.

One story I read about the phrase “to eat crow” claims it went back to the War of 1812. Because there were no grocery stores on or near the battlefields (let alone anywhere), an occasional cease fire allowed the combatants to go hunting, while at the same time respecting the battle lines.

Seems that one of the rebels crossed that line while hunting for food, and shot a crow. A Brit caught him at gunpoint in British territory and disarmed him. The Brit, commenting that the Yank was not respecting the ceasefire, told the Yank to get the bird, and take a bite. The Yank, at gunpoint, did as directed.

As the cease-fire rules were still in effect, the Yank commented on the Brit’s firearm, that it appeared to be of very high quality, well machined, good stock, etc. The Brit, honoring the cease-fire, was flattered, and allowed the Yank to inspect his weapon.

The Yank then turned the weapon on the Brit, presented the crow (with one bite out of it) and said, “Okay. Now finish it.”

[Image found here.]

Abandoned Baby Survives Weeks on Nothing But Cheetos

Lengua Chucha, Mexico (Strutts News Services) – Standing a mere 6-inches tall at the withers, this lil’ pup was hatched a few days after his momma lost interest and wandered from the nest.  Finding an open cache of Cheetos that had washed up on the beachhead, lil’ pup was found chowing down on the fluorescent orange morsels.

Since then he’s been moved to a foster shelter, where his diet has been augmented with Big Macs and Super Size Fries, and he is expected to reach 2,500 lbs.  (average weight for his age) by the end of the month.  Way to go, Lil’ Pup!

[Image from here. Related posts here, here and maybe there.]

Humor-Blogs.com

All-American Lunch Ladies: Sandwiches, Pastries, Pastries, Chips, Chips, Chips

Back Row: Jennie, Heide, Mary, Jean, Antoinette, Billy, Betty, Virginia, Charlotte, Wilma, Henrietta.
Front Row: Joyce, Ruth, Fay, Connie, and Doris.

These fine women kept the lovely Mrs. Strutts from starving to death in High School. I am forever in their debt.

[Related Lunch Lady post here. Don’t forget the Chips.]

It’s Snacky Time!

These folks ain’t got NOTHIN’ on the Lunch Lady, and they’ve got all the food color groups covered, too.

“Please, sir, may I have some urchins?”
“If you don’t eat yer snails, you can’t have any urchins! How can you have any urchins if you don’t eat yer snails?!”

[Bigger images can be salivated upon here. Kinda sorta related posts here, here and here.]

FREE RAW MEAT!

That’s right, folks, FREE RAW MEAT. Visit either link below and download your own tenderloin, grilled or raw, with carrots, plate, knife and fork. And there’s prolly a link somewhere on the internest to download your own dry beaujolais to go with it.

Cool stuff coming up tomorrow and Saturday, but be back here Sunday for REAL FOOD.

[Original post here via RGS. Both have downloadable links.]

[Update: Old linkys are dead. Here are templates.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 32 – Les Chats

 

CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW

BAT BAT BAT BAT

STRETCH STRETCH STRETCH STRETCH

GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO

[All cutesy catsy throwy-uppy .gif’s from here, except for the last one.]

2017: When Cows Roamed the Earth – Before Ethanol

Big Bone Lick, KY (Strutts News Services) – According to Thursday’s MSWikipedia update, before ethanol depleted the corn crop in the US, cows, pigs and chickens were as big as barns.

Back as early as the 1990’s, one cow could provide enough milk and butter for a township of 1,000 or more. Now that ethanol is more profitable than producing corn for feed, the wheat crop has been eradicated as well. Citrus and tomato crops were outlawed in 2012, when President ProTem Chelsea Clinton, by fiat, mandated that only fermentable federally-approved grain be produced on the same soil.

A side note: Suet lamps are coming under scrutiny, and are becoming scarce, except on the black market. You can get ’em as cheap as 6,540 euros if you look for the bargains.

[Tip o’ the Tarboosh to CH & AU for the cow; pig from here, chicken from here.]

German Cat Milk – (Me: “Eeeew”)

german-cat-milk_tuscanwm.jpg

Mit verbesserter Rezeptur. I’d buy the stuff just for the Rezeptur.

Is it just for German Cats? If it’s for cats, I assume it’s for Mr. Boots’ breakfast bowl of Chocolate Mousey Flaver-O’s.

But if it’s from German cats… well, some things I just don’t wanna know.

[Image from here.]

Global Warming Declared Racist: Rewards Only White Beachcombers with Doritos, Ignores Minorities’ Desire for Snack Food

doritos_spill_1.jpg

Seattle, WA (Strutts News Services) – Global Warming was blamed for the ocean currents that transported several thousand air-tight packages of Doritos to the coast of Washington, leaving thousands of minorities without the addictive snack food. A total of three white people recobanized the profits to be had after a cargo bin spilled off of a cargo bin carrier ship during a nasty storm during which the cargo ship dropped its cargo. The word spread up and down the coast:

“DORITOS! DON’T TELL THE BLACKS AND THE ASIANS!”

doritos_spill_2_truckspills.jpg

A cargo ship that finds itself in seas that causes it to drop its cargo is not funny at all. Ask someone who has been there and done that. But only white people comb the beaches for Doritos.

[Images and story from Truck Spills, a nice collection of things spilled from trucks.]