Category: Retro & Vintage

Kirk vs. T vs. Norris: Battle of the Titans (Part 2)

Mr. T., heh. There’s no one quite like the T-man, but that’s not what this post is about. It’s about whether or not he could take out Captain Kirk and Chuck Norris. Tough assignment, to be sure.

T’s strong points:

He don’ take no jibba-jabba from no foo. Kirk takes jibba-jabba from foos, and so does Norris. No one really knows what Mr. T does with that jibba-jabba, and since he don’t take none, my guess is he be give it back right away.

Secondly, he’s got little South Vietnamese flags stitched into his denim vest thingy. Neither Jim nor Chuck could pull that off without embarrassing criticism.

3rd advantage: Mr. T has more merchandise on the market than Kirk and Norris combined. (To keep this a fair competirion, generic “Star Trek” stuff doesn’t count. Has to be Captain Kirk paraphernalia.) There is so much T stuff that I can’t name them all, as they include cartoons, “T” shirts, posters, metal lunch boxes, crayons, cookie jars, bathtub toys, breakfast cereal, toothpaste, socks, underwear, baby spoons, floor wax and snow tires.

Yeah, I know he can punch sharks, but so could Fonzi. Cheez.

Strong suit: Well, HE IS MR. T. He’s got serious in-your-face attitude, and could conceivably turn it up to 11 when facing Kirk or Norris, and get them to back down without throwing a punch.

Mr. T is clearly the winner in the merchandise category. He’s got the wire brush mohawk going for him, and he’s got the foos (Kirk and Norris) seriously pitied.

Because of these strong points, Mr. T is a top-notch candidate for the Big ‘Ol Gold Belt.

[Related posts here and here. Related archive here. Coming up tomorrow: Chuck Norris.]

Kirk vs. T vs. Norris: Battle of the Titans (Part 1)

Let’s start with Captain James Tiberius Kirk and his dilithium-powered toilet plunger with crystalline scrubbing bubbles.

He wasn’t even born when Chuck Norris and Mr. T came along, so there’s a definite age-gap. If Chuck and Mr. really wanted to take him out, they’d have to chase down and crank on Kirk’s present-time direct lineage ancestors. Of course, maybe just taking out a few of Kirk’s ancestors would be enough, and Captain James T. Kirk’s pedigree would be sufficiently damaged to make him a non-combatant by default.

But Kirk has one great advantage: worm holes. He can travel back in time and kick anyone’s butt if he really wanted to. He could conceivably find Norris and T while they were still in grade school, beam them up and drop them off with Flash Basbo on the Planet of the Mind Gobblers. Honestly, I don’t believe Kirk could pull it off. He’s got more integrity than to do something that despicable.

Even if he could, he wouldn’t do it on his own… at least three more have to beam down with him. The guy with the red shirt is gonna eat it (whereupon Dr. McCoy, aka Captain Obvious, will declare “He’s dead, Jim”). The other two are regulars who might be injured, but will eventually be beamed up with the rest of the party and the cadaver’s remains if any.

Armed with his signature “Drop ‘n Roll” all-purpose defensive move, Captain Kirk is definitely a strong contender.

[Image from here. Related posts here and here, and we’ve got a related archive here. Coming up tomorrow: Mr. T.]

Saturday Matinee – SpinCycle, Howlin’ Wolf, Howlin’ Lou,Henry Mancini & Roy Buchanon

[Found at Arbroath.]

 

Twilight Zone-ish.

 

Interesting documentary… Interviews of some of the patrons of the “Spin Cycle” laundromat somewhere in St. Paul, Minnesota.

 

Oh, yeah. “Ya ya ya aya…” Gotta post some music. Do not mock those who try. [Also found at Arbroath.]

Howlin’ Wolf’s classic “Smokestack Lightning.”

[UPDATE: The bass player in this clip is Willie Dixon. THE Willie Dixon. Sorry I missed giving him credit. Dixon wrote a number of songs that later became rock standards. He recorded some albums himself, and didn’t stutter when he sang. More after the break below.]

“Theme to Peter Gunn.” Here’s Henry Mancini’s live version, introduced by Steve Allen. (The horn section rocks, whether you like it or not.)

Last Post on THIS Spin Cycle: The Late Great Roy Buchanan‘s explosive take on Mancini’s “Theme to Peter Gunn.” (This one’s for all you Aussies – Thanks for the hula-hoops, mates!)

Continue reading “Saturday Matinee – SpinCycle, Howlin’ Wolf, Howlin’ Lou,Henry Mancini & Roy Buchanon”

All-American Lunch Ladies: Sandwiches, Pastries, Pastries, Chips, Chips, Chips

Back Row: Jennie, Heide, Mary, Jean, Antoinette, Billy, Betty, Virginia, Charlotte, Wilma, Henrietta.
Front Row: Joyce, Ruth, Fay, Connie, and Doris.

These fine women kept the lovely Mrs. Strutts from starving to death in High School. I am forever in their debt.

[Related Lunch Lady post here. Don’t forget the Chips.]

Happy Pappy Day

“So… you want to date my daughter, eh? Okay, but first, you must pass the test.”

You really have no idea what your father’s done on your behalf.  Kranggg.

[Image from Happy Pappy’s Golden Age Comics.]

Saturday Matinee – Stuff + 3xSmoke + HRL

“Germany’s Funniest Home Videos?” [Via Phils Phun.]

Politically ignorant animation, but Bunk finds it funny (coupla entirely unnecessary F-bombs, though). [Via Kitty’s Saloon.]

“Smoke Smoke Smoke.” Here’s Tex Williams’ original deal. (Tell me that rap didn’t start in 1947.)

Commander Cody’s 1973 take… Here’s to Dolph for those two.

Commander Cody & the Lost Planet Airmen: Excellent cover of Phil Harris’ “Hot Rod Lincoln.” (Video cuts off that last “Hot-Rod-Lincoln” with the coda. That’s just not right.)

What a slick prank. [Via Bits & Pieces.]

17 June 2008 – Mark your calendars for the Firefox Guinness Book of World Records Download! Pass it on!

Pretty Awful Album Covers

Actually, I kinda like “Limbo” and “Bongo Date.” Click on the images and collect ’em all.


I don’t remember where I found these, but they didn’t come from MY collection.

[Related posty here. Still blogsitting Finicky Penguin’s Corner if you want a double dose of Bunk.]

[UPDATE: A loyal reader (see comments below) alerted me to another Pretty Awful Album Cover that should be included — last one in the stax o’ wax above. There are way too many PAAC’s to include them all, but here’s another. Thanx, Dolph.]

LOL Russian: Boris Manilovchk

“I ridysong wat mak d hol worl cry;
“Donut be steak beef or dat ud-der gy;
“Я пишу песни делают весь мир спеть;
“I ridysong, I ridysong.”

[Original unaltered image from here.]

[Other news: Bunk is blogsitting Finicky Penguin’s Playpen starting today and running through the 18th of June, standing room only. Go have a visit. Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge, make long distance phone calls to Nigeria to check on the bank account status, download tranny dwarf porn onto his laptop, etc. In a coupla weeks, FinPeng is gonna be blogsitting here, and I expect y’all to be on your worst behavior.]

Saturday Matinee – Glass Sphere, Drag & Drop, C.N. & Boogie Woogie

Sorry, folks, Bunk’s kinda wiped out today… had to throw this together at the last minute. I’ll be in better shape tomorrow.

The guy’s amazing.

Clever animation, via the Presurfer.

Don’t EVEN mess with Chuck.

Meade Lux Lewis was prolly the greatest boogie woogie piano man ever.

Albert Ammons and Pete Johnson were no slouches either.

Otha Ellas Bates McDaniel (Bo Diddley) 1928-2008

If I’m not mistaken, his nickname came from the diddley bow, which consisted of a wire attached to the side of a barn and strung to a wood plank. To play it, you step on the plank to vary the wire tension while you bang out a rhythm on the wire with a stick, kinda like a washtub bass: “bomp-bomp-bomp–bompbomp.”

Video from the TNT Show 1966. Here’s to the Bo Diddley Beat.