Category: Stupid
Opportunist WIN
The .Gif Friday Post No.264 – OddBox Roulette, Dog Rock & CheetoHead
Meet The Flintstones
Training Your Couch Part I: Changing Light Bulbs
First, convince your couch that in darkness cats will claw its legs and arms and dogs will chew its cushions. Emphasize the importance of electric lighting as a deterrent.
Next, teach it how to sit upright. Explain how stray pocket change and detritus can accumulate over time in the bowels of a couch. Describe in simple, yet graphic detail, the damage it can cause to the very fabric of its nether regions.
Your couch will become nervous and agitated, so explain that in order to eliminate the foreign objects, it is necessary for it to elevate itself such that you (the Alpha Couch) may remove the offending items easily and painlessly from the lower end. Be gentle, and speak in soft voice.
Your couch will listen silently and attentively to your explanations and will cooperate fully (this is when you should replace the lightbulb and THEN collect the stray pocket change, pencils, pens, crayons, raisins, M&Ms and other miscellany) after which you should explain to your couch that you’d like to relax on it. Your couch will likely prostrate itself on the floor.
This erases its memory of the stressful event. Your couch will become content and pliable once again, especially if you spill something sticky on it.
[Image found here.]
Saturday Matinee – Static Electricity Safety, Slide Trombone, Dancing Hard & The Superbs
I like how it makes him go ” beep.” [via]
New York Philharmonic second trombonist David Finlayson plays a tune from the slide’s perspective. [via]
PLACE: LAX Airport, Los Angeles CA.
SONG: THE BLACK ANGELS- Telephone
GIRL: Angela Trimbur
The Superbs (featuring Eleanor ‘Punkin’ Green) lip-synching Bobby Troupe‘s “Baby Baby All The Time” on Dick Clark’s American Bandstand 1964.
And there you go for another edition of The Saturday Matinee. Have a great weekend, and we promise you lots more stuff.
Indricotheria In The Wild
Los Culos, California (Strutts News Services)
Caught on camera near midnight and under a full moon, an unsuspecting Hasínai girl hunts for edible mollusks in the traditional way – with her toes. A mature Indricotherium silently stalked until startled by the flash of the camera strobes and disappeared back into the deep with a grunt and a splash. The girl escaped unharmed.
Miss Little Piggie
This little piggie went to market;
This little piggie stayed home;
This little piggie had roast beef;
This little piggie said, “WTF? THE HELL’S WRONG WITH YOU?!”
And this little piggie said, “Bite me.”
[Found here.]
The End Of The World Mayan Apocalypse December 2012
Great Gifts For Dad
As for the Meglinating Variable Intensity Multifunction Power Tool, I have one and it works great. You have to replace the Narvis coupling occasionally, but that only takes a couple of minutes. Buy spares.
The Narvis coupling is the weak link, and if you don’t have a spare or two handy, you’re screwed. Many agree that it should not be replaced unless a trammel gear fails. I made that mistake once.
If you’ve already got some davised camshanks, you’ve got spares as long as you’re willing to replace the panfold bushings, refrog and align them. Be sure that you have the proper torque trimmer, otherwise you’ll need to disassemble and rebuild every one of the winders, and you’ll end up buying a full set of trammel gears.
P.S. Forget the Bono goggles. Put ’em on and every good lookin’ woman looks like Sonny. I gave mine away for free.
[Found here.]
Update: Download the Hazard Fraught Tools catalog.
Tacky Raccoons 