“…and for those who didn’t pay attention – good luck.”
“This is your Captain speaking…”
60 year old Ben Hart is addicted to break dancing.
Piers Morgan is an idiot.
Shinehead O’Connor is an idiot.
Jackie The Lion is not an idiot.
West Nile Virus distribution. Yeah, there’s a correlation alright.
“Donald Trump ain’t right, man.”
Neighborhood donut shop patrons buy entire inventory each morning so shop owner can be with his ailing wife.
True Story:
Grampa told me of a gaffe he and his brothers used in church. It’s called “The Angel Speaks.”
Get a thick wire coathanger, cut a 4-inch section. Bend it into a “U” shape, then bend the ends 180 degrees down. Get two small rubber bands and loop each one through a metal washer, hook the bands onto each side of the “U”. The gaffe is ready.
Wind up the washer tight, hold it in place, then sit on it, preferably on a wooden pew. When the time is right, lean over, raise a cheek. The washer is released with a loud “BRRRAAAAP!”
Depending on the design, preparation and control, you may be able to get up to 3 farts out of it.
Oh, and always look at the kid next to you in complete disgust each time you rip one. This works on steel folding chairs, too, but the noise sounds like a jackhammer.
Repost: How to make a carrot shooter.
[Top image found here.]
Tacky Raccoons 